Archive | October, 2011

I think think it’s funny… You?

26 Oct

Considering the last few of my Wednesday posts have been a little on the depressing side, I figured that I would find something a little more entertaining, upbeat and fun….
These happen to float my boat a bit and definitely make me chuckle…
Therefore I figured that I would borrow a few and share….

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

“Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed.
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Embarrassing Moments

Let’s face it – we’ve all had our share of embarrassing moments. Just be thankful that none of them were as humiliating (and hilarious!) as these:
“A mother was taking a shower when her two year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so she ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that she had copies made and included one with each of their Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting that she take a closer look. Puzzled, the mother stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to her son, she had captured her reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera!”
“A woman and her sister were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As they were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if they needed any help. The woman replied, “No, I’m just looking at your nuts.” The sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and she turned beet red and walked away.”
“A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear, ‘PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE.” That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word ‘Tampax’ for ‘THUMBTACKS.’ In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: ‘DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?’
An introvert went to bar and spots a pretty looking woman sitting on the stool. He mustered all his courage for long time, then timidly approached and asked her, “Ma’ am, would be OK if sit here and talk with you?” She was alert, suspecting this man, and responds by yelling, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!” Customers in the bar started staring at them. The embarrassed guy quickly returns to his table dejected and ashamed. The young woman waits a little and then goes to the guy to apologize. With a smile on her face she says, “I am sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I am a college student in psychiatry and I am putting together a thesis as to how people react to embarrassing moments.” The cunning guy now yells loudly, “What do you mean by $500?”

Word Game…. Fluster

19 Oct

I am so flustered with Blogger right now I could literally puke.  I spent hours putting together something meaningful for this morning and Blogger mysteriously ate my article.  Either I am a complete idiot or there is a flaw in their auto-save function.

In any event it’s 6:00 am as I sit here  trying to figure out the unexplainable.

In the meantime…. Let’s play a game.  I am thinking of a word. It has four letters, starts with F and ends with K. What could it possibly be?

On a serious note…  Today I wanted to pay a special tribute to a Champion. Not in the manner that I had planned. But… as my Mom always told me, “That’s how the cookie crumbles”.

For those of you who follow the news, Indy Driver Dan Wheldon was killed in a horrific racing incident on Sunday morning in Las Vegas.  He leaves his wife and two young children and millions of racing fans worldwide.

Our hearts go out to his wife and kids and all who were effected by this tragedy.  RIP Dan Wheldon

Product Review: Bully Bling

17 Oct

I found a new product and it just happened to pop up in my backyard.  No… and it’s not that. What I mean is… the dealer just happens to live in my neighborhood. Doh!  This is not quite starting out as I planned.  Sounds sorta drug related doesn’t it?

Well it is!    Caffiene. I love it! Gotta have it! It makes me feel good!  Due to my profession and lifestyle, it is something that I use everyday regardless just to keep the pace… So… Call me an addict 

The guys at Bully Bling Energy Drink were kind enough to let us sample a few in order to enable me to give a true honest review of their products.

Flavor:  7 out of 10     I’m the diet drinking guy and I can safely say that the Bully Bling Diet taste is OK.  However, that’s not a bad thing at all . I am very particular about the flavor of an energy drink.  In most instances energy drinks taste like shit compared to my drink of choice, Lemonade and Orange Rockstars. I can’t drink diet Monster, Amp or Red Bull etc… They taste like complete ass. 

Effect:  6 out of 10    I don’t start drinking energy drinks until after twelve. I typically drink 5 cups of joe before noon. So…  when I am ready for an energy drink, I really need one, just to offset the first caffeine crash. 

I drank one and It seemed to work. I didn’t feel jittery, however sometimes the semi-jittery is what I’m looking for. The can was empty after a couple of good swigs and the thirst was still not quenched. Something about a twelve or sixteen ounce can works better if you are hot and thirsty. Therefore I popped another back to back and I was about where I wanted to be. 

The other day I decided to  substitute my first cup of coffee with a Bully Bling. It did lift the eyelids a bit. Needed a cup of coffee in about an hour or so.

Crash Factor: 9 out of 10  There really wasn’t a noticeable one… Good sign!

Ohhh I almost forgot to mention a few important factor to Bully Bling’s claims.  No Phenylalanine! 100% USA made and for all you Moms out there…

I’d say these guys may be on to something. The energy drink market is a tough one.  It’s very hard to compete with the established players unless you have an edge… Which I believe they do.

There ya have it. As always straight up, no fluff…

I was not paid for this review.  All reviews are our true opinions, good or bad, based solely on our personal experiences with products that are provided.

Day Care- The Educational Difference

13 Oct
Kathleen Thomas is a Marketing Support Coordinator for the Atlanta day care facility, a member of the AdvancED® accredited family of Primrose Schools (located in 16 states throughout the U.S.) and part of the network of day care preschools delivering progressive, early childhood, Balanced Learning® curriculum. She as graciously submitted this article for the benefit of our ARMY. Thanks Kathleen
Two-career families and single parents alike are well aware of the critical role quality, dependable day care plays in their lives. The knowledge that a child spends their days in a secure, supportive environment is of the utmost importance to all moms and dads. The question remains, however, whether simple childcare offers sufficient facilitation for the healthy and successful intellectual development of toddlers and preschool-age children. Is something more substantial needed?

Parents who have the financial ability or family resources to provide safe, loving childcare during working hours are indeed in an enviable situation, though it is quite possible that children in more basic daycare environments are not being exposed a full range of intellectual and educational opportunities. While it is highly likely that the physical and emotional needs of such children are fully met, and it is quite probable that those in daycare facilities receive adequate socialization with other children, they may be missing out on pedagogical activities able to promote advanced cognitive development and lay the foundation for educational success in later years.

Early Starts Do Matter

For years, educational experts have asserted that a child’s life experiences from birth through their fifth birthday can greatly influence their future academic fortunes. However, despite general policy proclamations requiring children to be ready to learn upon beginning formal schooling, politicians have not offered accompanying recommendations about how such a goal might be achieved.

There have been studies suggesting that a child’s learning trajectory actually commences inside the womb. It has been argued that unborn babies who were exposed to language and music during the mother’s third trimester of pregnancy showed demonstrable benefits as a result. Human brains experience substantial growth and refinement in the first few years, and it is indisputable that the types of things seen and heard by children during that time markedly impact the sorts of people they ultimately turn out to be. It is during these formative years that children acquire fundamental language abilities, self-esteem, personality and disposition, all elements vital to their success or failure in the broader world. In essence, the years leading up to formal schooling provide a real window of opportunity to positively and, perhaps permanently, encourage and shape what are highly impressionable, eager minds.

Definitive Advantages

There has been substantial evidence to show that even a single academic year of accredited, formal preschool classes involving educational activities such as creative playtime and skills instruction can produce substantial benefits for children by the time they begin kindergarten. Children who have attended this type of early schooling tend to demonstrate advanced speaking, reading, listening and quantitative skills, and therefore are much better prepared to move onto more advanced topics than their counterparts who did not have similar instruction. Furthermore, children with exposure to an academic classroom setting exhibit more sophisticated social acuity and a heightened ability to work effectively in groups. The benefits to be gleaned from participation in formal, academic preschool are long-lasting, and the skills acquired by virtue of this type of early education provide children with the edge they need to achieve success in an increasingly competitive world.